Distracted love

Some love day

Last night, tears fell slowly in the name of love. Starting  off light as a feather they gained weight as they dropped collecting makeup particles along the way. Streaks formed on the cheek sporadically  representing the very meaning of love..... so many things at the same time. Joy, pain, acceptance, denial, truth, interference, long lasting,  forced, fearless, open, scary,  forever type of love....... she blots, not right now!

Don't do it! Pressure builds in her chest as she's determined to hold 'it' in!  Searching the room for lurking eyes making sure she can maintain her superwoman status. Coaching herself, I won't break! She turns into a plum shade as she holds back! Running to a secluded space, eyes turn red and fill with tears to the brim just to the point where more tears will fall at a blink, but not yet. She can't find an empty room so she runs. Maybe in here....... ? Occupied! Where to go! She has to get this out but no one can see. She has to keep this to herself! That's what she was taught, don't let them see you sweat !!!

So that's just it! Keep it MOVING!! FIND  your 'secret place'!! She yells at herself internally. She needed to go there and scream! I gotta let it out!!!
Just when she thought her head would explode from holding it in, she spotted an open door to a balcony. Sheer curtains blew outwards signaling for her to go in that direction for peace. That's what she needed right? Peace. Her tears gave in to gravity and smeared her make up. Feeling like she  couldn't do it anymore, her knees buckled. The search for an out had weakened  her.  The weight of her hurt, pain and anguish dragged her down to the ground limb by limb. A magnetic force held her back from receiving her peace and from allowing her to release all the things she chose to hold in for so long. Burried in such a dark place for a very long time. So long that she was unaware of this burden she adorned.

There was a light that shined and glistened from the balcony. As the light escaped it sneakily touched her face as the curtains danced in the breeze. It grazed  her face without her permission. She wanted to be upset because she felt like she lost control again! But it was gentle and took her mind off the damage she had experienced on this journey.  Every time the light kissed her face she became energized.  although held captive her body was reminded of its strength. Feeling like three times it's weight she dragged her arms and body towards the balcony. I must get OUT!! I NEED to receive that peace! That's what fed her determination! The sound of her soul weeping was her background  music but it was also her motivation. As she got closer to the door the glistening light grew brighter, almost blinding.

The skin on her legs burned from the friction during her travel. She grew numb as time went on. She passed a few onlookers but they didn't understand the process and were distracted by their own pain. They had become deaf from their own screams and cries they weren't  able to recognize her desperate SILENT cries for help!

Out  of breath, face soaked from her bucket of tears, eyes bloodshot red, dark circles surrounding  her eyes  she still refused to let it out. All! Most! There! She thought while exhausted...... if I make it out side, I can let it out, no one will see and everything will be okay...... right?

Her arms bled as she inched on the balcony floor. She slowly cried out, Peace? Are you here? She cried more and louder.. she let out a big scream! Shouted PEEEAAAAACEE!!!!!!!?????? nothing ......... she exhaled and melted...... please! I need you.....